How to not be a hypocrite -->

I have been blessed to have had so many good things happen in my life lately. Just this past weekend I was in Hershey, Pennsylvania with my youth group to chaperone for them at youth convention. I know that during my last blog I was really tired and it probably didn't make too much sense, but basically a synopsis of it would be...it was awesome :). I haven't written since the first service so I thought I'd update everyone on how the others went as well. The Friday morning candle light communion service was pretty good; much better than past years. I can't really tell you what else I remember from that service because the evening service was so memorable.

Typically, A/G youth conventions leave the last night to be their "receive the Holy Spirit" night. All I have to say is that I don't remember ever hearing a call to receive the Holy Spirit, but He certainly was present. At the beginning of the speaker's message he announced that at any time during his message that anybody could feel free to come down to the altar as they saw fit. I knew off the bat that it was going to be a powerful night. However, I expected maybe only a handful of people to make their way to the altar, but I promise you by the time he actually made the altar call that there was no room because the altar was full. Starting about halfway through service until the end I saw countless couples and triples of people make their way to the altar, each group clearly showing emotion. At the point of the actual altar call the speaker called the people in the building to feel the pain of the people in their lives who needed Christ. He counted to three, and when he said three I experienced something I don't think I've ever experienced in my life. I heard a roar of weeping echo throughout the arena. The sadness alone was enough to make one cry. I remember following some of my kids up to the altar (well to the sound booth because there was too many people to actually make it there). I began to cry out for God to show me the pain that would drive me to doing what I was called to do, but amidst the people that we're clearly being touched by God, I felt like I wasn't. I helped minister to some of my kids after the service was over, and I believe God used me in it, but as far as my own life being touched I didn't feel like God had done anything. I walked out of the building disappointed because I had heard all these people weeping over their "ministries", and I wasn't feeling it. I was silent on the walk back to van. Everybody got into the van and waited for our driver; I walked around the empty parking lot asking God what I was doing wrong. We finally did leave, and as we drove away from the Giant Center...it hit me. I began seeing those in my life that I was to minister to. I felt their pain, immensely. I felt a burden. I remember telling God "I'll go...I'll go" but I remember feeling like he was saying back to me "Just trust me...just trust me"...

There was a famous 2nd century martyr by the name of Perpetua that I have been reading about. She was a 21 year old Christian that had her baby held in front of her and was told to deny Christ. She instead denied her child. I don't really have time to tell you what her story means to me, but she was killed by the Roman government for her belief in the Messiah, and her baby was orphaned.

What is the point of all this rambling? All I have time to say is that I really am starting to feel people's pain. I am really starting to understand what it means to be a real Christian. I'm learning how to not be a hypocrite. How? A denial of self; a taking up of a cross that has been put before you. Jesus took up his cross, and it benefited many others. I truly am starting to believe that our cross is the same thing. Our denial of self isn't just to benefit us; it's not just limited to the pleasing of God; but I truly believe that our cross is to be taken up so that many would come to know Christ and that God would be glorified.

I trust him, and as much as it scares me (and it does to death) I am learning how to die to myself so that others may have the pain of their lives satisfied by the power of the Gospel which is unto salvation.

So, don't be a hypocrite, deny yourself, take up your cross, feel other people's pain.
It's the hardest thing in the world to do.