A reflection on this week's study

I have been reading Philippians this week as part of my daily devotions, and let me say that I have been having my socks blessed off by it. I'm am so encouraged by Paul's attitude towards life. At the end of the book he speaks about being content in all situations, and of course you probably know his famous line in Philippians 4:13 which says "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me". May it just be known that when he wrote that he was chilling in prison, tied to a pole, sitting in his own feces. Anyway, my focus hasn't been so much on his contentedness as it has been on something else that has been going on in my life. If you have read any of my other blogs about Perpetua or perhaps have had the opportunity to talk to me, you know I have been struggling lately with the idea of Godly priority and martyrdom. I have been struggling with the fact that I feel like I am persecuted in NO WAY WHATSOEVER, however sometimes I feel like I am ashamed of my Savior. For example, I have trouble sharing my faith with people. There are people from the first and second century who had to share their faith too, except when they did they were thrown into the Colosseum to be eaten by wild animals at the expense of Rome's entertainment. Yeah..they lived and shared without shame. This fact has, to say the least, discouraged me quite a bit. My desire is to be pleasing to Him; to have Him as my priority; to be truly living like he is my God and to fulfill his purposes for my life. I just want to throw out a scripture that I have been reflecting on all week that has changed the way I look at this desire:

12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Let me say that it has been incredibly motivating to know that my desire to do God's will isn't even my own desire being made by me. God is the author of my desire, and if I have that desire, then it proves that I'm right where God wants me. I know he has a plan for my life, and I want to be pleasing to him. His good purposes will be made known daily to me because he is putting the will and the strength in me to live according to the standard He's called me to live. On top of it, He's called me into ministry where He wants me to reach people with his life changing Gospel. I just want to say that it has been incredible and it makes it so much easier for my busy life because amidst everything that is before me and needs to get done in so little time, I have peace because He is working in me to do what He has planned for me. God truly has good things in mind for us and doesn't leave us abandoned to attain it!