Right now I'm laying on my bed. I have all the lights turned off, except for one. I'm in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and The Afters are echoing out of my laptop. About 24 hours ago, my life was drastically changed by an event. A girl who for the last year and 2 months I have cared for and loved told me she had feelings for somebody else. We had been off and on for a while, but other than a small break for about a month where we saw other people, we have been in each others lives. I could rank last night as being in my top 10 most emotional times in my life. I was heartbroken beyond belief, the only way I could describe it is that it felt like she took my heart out of my chest and stomped it off the ground into 1000 pieces. It took me along time to cry (about an hour after I stopped talking to her) because I was having trouble dealing with the feelings of anger; I was also having a hard time breathing which caused me to get out my car (where we were talking) and walk around for a few minutes before I got back in the car. The last 24 hours have been nothing less than heartbreaking. I slept terribly last night, skipped my morning class and chapel, and tried as casually as I could to go to the cafeteria for lunch, where Adam McGuffy told me that I looked like I was going to kill myself. In all honesty, the way I felt wasn't too far from that. I was as faithful as I knew how to be even though she treated me like she did. Then, to have her throw off the boat for no reason, needless to say, I felt about "this" big. I felt like nothing. I felt worthless. Until I laid down to do some homework tonight I hadn't quite figured out my next move. I have now. God has a plan for my life. He has someone in mind for me. They are going to blow my mind. They are going to be my best friend and life partner. They aren't going to take me for granted or throw me off; they're going to appreciate what I do. They're going to care about me. I need not worry. Right now, 24 hours from such a terrible experience, I can say I have peace, and the only reason I have peace is because there is a God who is screaming at me "I have something for you that you can't even begin to fathom...this thing isn't just in a relationship, but in a life I've prepared". My God has a plan to prosper me and NOT TO HARM ME (If God is for us who can be against us?), plans for a hope and for a future, and so from this point on, every part of me lays down my life at the feet of my Jesus. He alone holds the keys to my destiny, one in which he is going to be glorified by doing great things through me. He will be glorified by the praise I give him with my life because of the good things he has done for me. I will not forget his benefits. I will not forget his plan. I will not forget the help he has sent in the past. He is close to me in my most brokenhearted state, and he will never leave me; he will never forsake me. He will always stay, He is...always...faithful.
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