Traditionally, we associate the word "scapegoat" with blaming somebody for something, regardless as to whether it was their fault. In Leviticus 16 of the Bible God points out his instructions as to how the Israelites were going to have their sins forgiven by God. The priest was to take two goats, one that would be killed and presented to the Lord as a sin offering, the other, the "scapegoat" was to be presented alive and sent out into the wilderness. Traditionally this is understood as the sins being "put on" to this animal and carried away never to be remembered by God again.
Fast forward.
In any school of Christian thought, one would understand the deity of Christ to be and not limited to anything less than God himself. In the understanding of the incarnation and the sacrifice of Christ on the cross, we can assume that Christ's sacrifice fulfilled all the requirements of the Law in the area of atonement.
This being said...
The last couple days for me have been very reflective in the area of Christ on the cross because I've been reading alot for my Theo 2 paper that's due this week. God actually put on flesh and died to once and for all atone his people. He took our sin and bore it on his shoulders, and when I think about that sacrifice, God saw the fact that we screwed up, and He stepped out and did something about it. He took on both the roles of the sacrificed goat and the scapegoat, and as God poured out his wrath on himself (which is profound in it's own context) one could assume that he was actually blaming himself in his righteous judgment. Now before we pull out the stones and cry "heresy", let me explain that I don't for one second believe it to be God's fault for our sin, but if we can correctly assume this, it would mean that God loved us enough; wanted a relationship with us enough that he'd be willing to step in and take that role in order to meet us right where we are. He shifted the blame from the creation to the creator (Himself) and punished sin on his own shoulders. To me that is profound...and I'm not going to write anymore tonight, but I do ask that, if you are reading this, take 5 minutes and reflect on how much God did for you.
...His love endures forever...
Yes, it's true! My apologies to all my faithful readers out there that don't really exist. Probably after my last blog it may have seemed like I dropped off the planet never to return. Quite the contrary. I haven't blogged in over a week, which is no good considering my grade is on the line. Anyway, I'm back baby, I'm back.
I guess my last blog was rather depressing, and if it didn't seem that way, well, it was supposed to be. Last week...to put it plainly, sucked the big one. I had an absolutely horrendous week. I was stressed out, confused, depressed, tired, plus anything else you could type into thesaurus.com and get from these words. I was miserable. Most of my troubles came from one major decision I had to make. I had to decide whether I was to continue to pursue what I had or to step out and see what else God had for me. I chose the latter. Let me tell you that a burden like no other was lifted on me, and with God's help it has been rather easy not to look back. I think sometimes we can get so complacent in our bad situations. Even if we are believing God for the best, I think sometimes he can be saying "no" and all the while we say "why not?". This "why not?" often causes us to rationalize things and stay in that complacent mode. At the same time I also believe God to be the God who "gives and takes away", which to me says he knows exactly what we need when we need it. With that mindset, I have allowed everything I am involved in to become a teachable moment. One of my personal goals is to be a humble and teachable person; one that can listen to direction both from God and from those he puts in my path.
I sincerely believe that this situation I am going through now was ordained to happen by God since the beginning because he knew it was going to teach me something. Wherever I am going in life, this step of obedience that I am taking will more than likely make me into the man I want to be, because if I am believing God, then I can't lose. Truly, if I seek God's kingdom and righteousness first, he will take care of the rest. Seriously, it's an easy trade off. Party with God, and he'll fix all my crap. Who wouldn't like a deal like that?!
A great wise old man named Tim Bennett once told me that if it looks like God has put it in front of you, and it's risky, then take it. I asked him what to do about Chosen when I found out I made the team. I wanted God's will for the band and for me and so I sought him through it. God put it in front of me, it was risky to join, and now here I am, and God's doing some amazing things. I think in my other situation, I am going to do the same thing. I am going to trust God completely because for the first time he is allowing me to tap into what he's made me to be. He's allowing me to see what I really want. He says he will "give us the desires of our hearts" and I think for the first time I am actually beginning to discover what that means.
It's all a journey...and He is making me perfectly content.
"Find rest, O my soul"
"Only in our moments of greatest personal helplessness do we begin to discover the life-changing presence and power of God...God's strength is made perfect in our weakness."
-Gary Kinnaman
I haven't written for a couple of days, which at this point is pretty bad because my grade is on the line. Right now, I'm probably going through one of the toughest struggles I have ever had to deal with since being at VFCC. This struggle is one of direction. Being that I'm going to a pastor or in ministry at some level, I feel like the expectation from people is that I get hourly updates from God via text message. For those of you that are going into ministry or maybe already are, you know it doesn't work like that. This week I have felt flat out depressed. I've had a lot of issues arise and demand my attention, a lot of them against my will. I feel like I should know exactly where I am supposed to be heading, and even when people say "Hey no you're doing okay", I don't feel like I am. So many times I have broken down and lost it, and in those times when I feel like the biggest sissy on the planet...God steps in and provides me with a peace that I can't explain, peace that occurs for absolutely no reason other than that I'm spending time with Him and believing in Him for my life. It's funny too because the more time I spend away from God, the more and more helpless I feel. I try to depend on myself too much (yeah I know...so shoot me) and have a hard time listening to the words, "Trust Me". Seriously, how in the free world can I be expected to just follow blindly and have no realistic reason to believe that things will work out for my best benefit?
It's so funny because even though I am saying this, I still believe completely in the sovereignty of God and that He will do what He has promised to do, and that is take care of His child. I still believe it even if I don't understand how or why. I guess I'm just letting out a lot of frustration right now. I just want to be where I know I'm supposed to be, and I know that with Jesus #1 in my life, I am. If everything else isn't making sense; if everything else cannot be controlled by me, the one thing I can control is where Christ is in my life, and when he's #1 he has promised to give me all that I need.
And I need a lot right now...so please pray for direction for me :)
I didn't really know how to express the way that I was feeling tonight, and so I decided that maybe I would just write it out. I feel so empty right now. I feel like I think I know how everything should play out in my life; everything that I want, and then in an instant it all falls apart. My entire life has been an ascent to the top of one mountain just to fall off the edge into a valley where I have to start over again onto another. Sometimes I feel like I can't go on; like I'm just playing a game and putting a mask on, making people think one thing about me but inside being so completely different. It's 12:32 a.m. and I have to be up at 6 a.m. for work. I'm listening to Michael Gungor...and just reflecting on my life. I feel like no matter how low I feel, I can always run to God who "wraps me in his arms". I have a God that who even though I am weak He is made strong. I feel like I could fall off he edge of the world but it wouldn't matter because no matter how bad it gets or how empty I can feel, God will catch me as I fall. He will be faithful to his end of the deal...always. I know he has an incredible plan for my life that complete exceeds every thought I have ever had regarding what will happen. He is going to do something in and through me that is beyond anything I could ever imagine. I refuse to settle for something that's less than prosperous, with a hope and a future according to Him. Where I am weak, he is made strong, and therefor I must become less, and He must become more.It's the cry of my heart that my life glorify Your name.
