I'm alive!

Yes, it's true! My apologies to all my faithful readers out there that don't really exist. Probably after my last blog it may have seemed like I dropped off the planet never to return. Quite the contrary. I haven't blogged in over a week, which is no good considering my grade is on the line. Anyway, I'm back baby, I'm back.

I guess my last blog was rather depressing, and if it didn't seem that way, well, it was supposed to be. Last week...to put it plainly, sucked the big one. I had an absolutely horrendous week. I was stressed out, confused, depressed, tired, plus anything else you could type into thesaurus.com and get from these words. I was miserable. Most of my troubles came from one major decision I had to make. I had to decide whether I was to continue to pursue what I had or to step out and see what else God had for me. I chose the latter. Let me tell you that a burden like no other was lifted on me, and with God's help it has been rather easy not to look back. I think sometimes we can get so complacent in our bad situations. Even if we are believing God for the best, I think sometimes he can be saying "no" and all the while we say "why not?". This "why not?" often causes us to rationalize things and stay in that complacent mode. At the same time I also believe God to be the God who "gives and takes away", which to me says he knows exactly what we need when we need it. With that mindset, I have allowed everything I am involved in to become a teachable moment. One of my personal goals is to be a humble and teachable person; one that can listen to direction both from God and from those he puts in my path.

I sincerely believe that this situation I am going through now was ordained to happen by God since the beginning because he knew it was going to teach me something. Wherever I am going in life, this step of obedience that I am taking will more than likely make me into the man I want to be, because if I am believing God, then I can't lose. Truly, if I seek God's kingdom and righteousness first, he will take care of the rest. Seriously, it's an easy trade off. Party with God, and he'll fix all my crap. Who wouldn't like a deal like that?!
A great wise old man named Tim Bennett once told me that if it looks like God has put it in front of you, and it's risky, then take it. I asked him what to do about Chosen when I found out I made the team. I wanted God's will for the band and for me and so I sought him through it. God put it in front of me, it was risky to join, and now here I am, and God's doing some amazing things. I think in my other situation, I am going to do the same thing. I am going to trust God completely because for the first time he is allowing me to tap into what he's made me to be. He's allowing me to see what I really want. He says he will "give us the desires of our hearts" and I think for the first time I am actually beginning to discover what that means.

It's all a journey...and He is making me perfectly content.

"Find rest, O my soul"